01 September 2009 @ 1:05 AM.
i wanted to explain everything to u bt i dont hv the chance n i nv will.its either tt u always dnt let me or i will just to silent n listen to ur scoldings.i write at this blog as if im talking to u.cs its all me talking n u hear wat i gotta to say.aft tt u can say watever u want.rmbr when we just got together?i gave u everything then its even b4 1month and u already wanted to break up with me cs u say u hurt me.did i even care?do u noe how fucking much u meant for me?since pri 5 im own my own foot.mummy and daddy just let me be.paying all the attention to ayad.at tt point of time i need alot of guidance cs im growing bt is dere anyone for me to turn to?i hv been keeping everystuff i did both bad n good inside till i met u.i noe u cud heal the pain for me.eversince u step into my life.i keep wandering can we be together?and if we re together can we last?aft i got as my gf everynite i kept thinking.do i deserve u?or am i a lucky busted?ure so beautiful tt time n i was so geeky.u teach me everything.i swear.each time u left me for indonesia do u noe how fucking much i miss u?cs i really dnt wanna loose u.u really meant everything for me.ure like my bestfriend,gf and my mum.bt soon i get use to u leaving me for indonesia n KL.bt do u noe im struggling each day cs of my fam?u noe how my fam is like.infront of guest they are so good.bt behind them are all bullshits.imagine im like a fren with all my siblings.im nt even close with them.they keep pushing me away.to be honest i gotta admit.i got a BIG attitude problem and im very rude to ppl.rmbr i always get into trouble with ur guy friends?yea i was stupid.pardon me for tt.cs im just afraid tt i wud loose u to them.n they just keep pushing me cs im kental n bodo.u cud even let them talk bad bout me.i just wish nadtya cud forgive me.for wat i did to her.dnt u realise i did it for u?just to make u feel at ease?w/o me having a girl friend.cs rmbr wat u say to me bout her?u hate her all n such i did try to change ur thinking bt its no use.im sorry for leaving u to go accompany her play bowling on her birthday.i promise u tt i will really buck up for my studies as i always sleep in cls n the most laziest student.look wat happen?i really fulfill my promises get 5 A's for n level.its ntg much n i dnt wish to be proud.if im proud trust me i wnt even be friends with those low result ppl.rmbr wat we did on last years fasting month?tt was the best thing.the part tt i hate most bout u is tt.every major event bout u or ur birthday i must attend.then?where u dere for my n level result?better still my birthday?i just wish i cud celebrate with u cs i nv had it b4 w my gf.u promise me tt u will celebrate it when u come bck to S'pore.i just rmbr u givin me my present n sumthing else.where's e celebration like u promise?till this day i still rmbr.b4 u leaving for indon in nov i promise u tt i will change my look.getting rid of all the pimple on my face n change my hairstyle as u always complain bout it.then when i already look good n diff frm b4 wat did u say to me?im just longing for love n i can flirt with girls?baby is it me or u?u told me u wanted me to look good as well.cant u just be thankful?u told me u always wanted me to pamper u most of the time n treat u like an 11 yr old girl.i did it already bt its still nt enough for u.im sorry if i make u cry all day aft we broke up on our 1st yr.u want to noe y?i cant stand with ur childish play.ur ego is seriously killing me and i told u im in pain bt do u even bother?aft we broke up we still close.n i just cudnt bear to leave u tt soon cs i really love u.so i just mingle with u eventhough we re nt attach.bt how cud u say i kicked u about when u waited for me?the person who wants to stay is u.n im nt urs how cud u scold me?hey i even send u hm aft u gave me shit n hit me on few occasion.still dnt want to be thankful?im sorry if i always scold u bout the littlest things.cs i just want u to look good n etc.the reason i dnt want to listen to ur parents cs i dnt want to bother them so much aft helping me alot.they are ur parents n i dnt wish to take the attention frm u as i sud get it frm my parents.nw u flipped on me.lied to me and u keep preaching as if u noe everything.thnks.i appreciate it.n lastly if u still got any doubts to heal ur wounds u can ask me for explanations.n if u wanna break ur last promise then i cant do anything.ur his nw.bt miracle n me wnt forgave u.sorry if i really gotta stoop so low just to write this post and dere lots more i just dnt wanna continue here....
